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Sunday, July 25, 2010

Our tribe...

The reality that Jason will be half way around the world in less than 48 hours is setting in. Really setting in...

His bags are packed.  His heart is set. There is adventure in his voice. I am beyond thrilled for him...

I am anxious about nothing....for him. I have no doubt that the team will accomplish incredible things, that hearts will surrender to a living savior, and that healing will take place over the next few weeks. I am anxious for me.

In all the preparation for this trip, we forgot to consider what his absence would mean for us. At the moment, our house is a mess, laundry is piled up, and we could use groceries.  I expect this week to be incredibly intense at work. It's hard not to feel like I have set myself up for failure...This is what I am anxious about.

And I should have probably spent the evening doing something about all that but we had much more important things to accomplish.

Tonight I needed our tribe.

We want to live in community. But we live in a society that doesn't value community. And I didn't grow up in a family so I don't even have any idea what I am actually doing. I am making this up as I go....

I want it to mean that we take care of each other. I want it to mean that when someone hurts, we all hurt. We do everything in our power to make things better. We love fiercely enough to fight for each other.

We celebrate each other and look for any way to be encouraging.

It means I will rearrange my life to hold yours together.

It's about grace poured out and forgiveness given even without asking.

It's not about being generous because what I have is already yours.

It's about sharing yourself, being real, and giving people the chance to love you right where you are. It's about being loved where you really are.

It's about being seen. It's about having your own fan club.

It's about saying the hard things and not being satisfied with easy answers.

It's knowing that these people will storm the gates of heaven on your behalf even when you can't manage more than a whisper.

I know this is a rare and precious gift. I know it has to be worked at. I know it has to be earned.

And sometimes I think we pull it off. And some days our intentions are just that ... we never get past what we wished we'd done.

But thankfully we have a circle, a tribe that is on this journey with us. And they love us. They love us in a way that reminds us that love is a verb. It's always a verb...

Tonight most of our tribe gathered in my in-laws house for dinner and a bit of  a farewell. Then we gathered in the living room and with our kids on the floor around us we prayed over Jason, over the team, and over the amazing plan God has for Ghana.

Listening to our friends and family pray, I couldn't help but whisper in my heart:

God for all the ways I screw them up, and parent badly, and don't love them enough...Let this be the thing that sticks. Let this be the legacy their heart holds onto. Please let this count for more than all my good intentions.

And give me chances to bless these people who hands are laid out for our family and who hearts overlap ours in this moment. Let me love them the way I want to. Completely. The way you love us. Always a verb.

There aren't words to say how completely amazed and overwhelming thankful I am for these people...and the chance to be on this journey with them.

4th of July (In case you wondered if we often wear matching patriotic tshirts)


  1. Wow, I love the way your write. You could be a poet. You are so good at putting your true feelings to beautiful words. We are so greatful to be a part of your family and someday when you eventually dedicate Emma we will be even wise...

    I am completely serious when I say to call if you need a break. I can take care of your kiddos while u work. Just let me know ahead of time.

  2. See I have my own fan club....and they babysit!

    Thank you....

  3. And doesn't it look like I have a freakishly long arm?

  4. I would have commented sooner but I am in an awful catch-22 position of wanting to TOTALLY DISOWN THAT REALLY SCARY LOOKING WOMAN who showed up in your picture and feeling if I go all CRAZY CAPS LADY on you it might call attention to her.

    Lovely post, you are loved. I will seek revenge for the picture.

  5. I just want to say that you insisted we face that direction. I KNEW our hair would look bad. I TRIED to tell you....But i think you look beautiful and bursting with JOY!

  6. HA it doesn't but that was really funny...looking at the picture from your perspective. <3

  7. I am so blessed to be part of your is totally undeserved on my part...but that is what you are all even when it is undeserved. I love you...and I will watch the little tribe-lings too. <3 <3, <3.