Ever have one of those days where the voices of your critics are the loudest thing in your head? That would be today. And you know what I usually do? I usually try and explain myself. And justify. And apologize.
I know more than anyone that I feel things more intensely than most people. And I know that there has been a lot to feel lately. And I know that there have been people along for this ride that have hung in there while I emotionally vomited on you. And then hid from you....only to come back up for air and do it again. You... I owe something to. But today is not for you either.
Today the negative nellies that I have on auto-play...you are not getting your explanation or justification or your apology today. Today I am cranking a totally irreverent but so fun cd from my prince charming. I am lovin these spectacular shades that I have waited my whole life to love so much. The only thing I am going to feel is the bass line. I am taking the long way home just to hear that song again. And then I am going to get my tush in the kitchen and make the richest, most decadent meal I know how. And if that doesn't do the trick I am going to light a million candles and soak in the tub till I am part mermaid.
Somewhere along the way those of us who take in more guilt than deserved realize that we don't have to apologize for everything. We are not to blame for everything, though the guilt throwers no where they can throw and to whom it will stick. So be selfish, forgive yourself a lot, do what you do because you are the most beautiful person I know. And please don't go into retreat. Put the Lord's armor around you, and face the world knowing they can't blame you or hurt you and the spiritual warfare around you may not be caused by the people manifesting the criticism. I'm hoping you enjoyed the bubble bath:) In His Love PJ
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