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Saturday, July 10, 2010

Happy Birthday to me…

I have been 29 for eleven days. I love 29! There is something about it that just whispers expectation. Honestly there is nothing particularly exciting on the horizon but it just feels like there could be...

June is a crazy month in our family. We have just wrapped up Kaya's birthday and end of school festivities and we head at an amazing pace through several more birthdays, anniversaries, and Father's Day all before landing at nearly the last day of June- broke and sick of cake!

But because this is the last of the twenty- something celebrations and because J. was willing to indulge me, we had a fabulous night! It was beautiful, intimate and just an all over great dinner party. It couldn't have been better if I planned it myself... oh wait- I did! I had the most incredible help executing it...two great guys really made it special!

The month of June is a perfect picture of how I struggle with spending so much time and energy pouring myself out that there isn't any room left for the things I'd like to do for myself. As I sit here and write that sentence I wonder is there any possible way for that not to sound selfish?

I want to give myself away. I want to be generous with my time, energy, and gifts. Completely. But I also want to do the things that give me energy, that keep me grounded, and remind me of how I am wired.

So this my 29th birthday gift to myself. It's not about my kids, or my relationships, or my job. It's about living my life with as little regrets as possible, about loving my people absolutely, and not loosing myself in the process. It is what's on my plate, in my head, and everything in between.

Expect it to be sometimes random. Expect it to be sometimes silly. Expect it to sometimes be from the core of my heart. But always expect it to be complicated...

1 comment:

  1. I'm on yer blog! Makin' the first comment!

    Love it and can't wait to see your daily updates. Thanks for helping inspire me.