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When I peruse other blogs, the ones I am drawn to are mostly the ones about food. Maybe it's my love of photography and my secret crush on food stylist. Or maybe I just love food.

I do love food.  I love to read cookbooks. I love restaurants. I love to cook....

Just not dinner. In my kitchen...right now...there are cinnamon rolls rising. Cinnamon rolls that I made from scratch. I woke up with the desire to pound out my frustrations on something and dough seemed like the most acceptable choice for a mother of four. And there isn't much that sugar, cream cheese, and cinnamon can't melt.

But just normal every night dinner? Let's talk about dinner. I can't get into to. Maybe it's just not complicated enough.

When my babies were all babies, I rarely left the house. I had a 3 and a half-year old, a two-year old, and a newborn. Pretty much everything was too much effort. We rarely made it even as far as the car before somebody was crying. Somedays....even the kids cried.

So I stayed home a lot, read blogs and was active on a forum for christian mother's. Those were wonderful ladies. They found much of their identity in their ability to make a lovely home for their families and friends. And  I thought I should too. So I tried things like setting the table for a lovely  dinner right after breakfast...

Let's think this through. Um..... No. I still want to have dishes come dinner time. And if you think I have trouble keeping up with silverware now when it is hidden in a drawer, well imagine if I set it out for them. Besides our table is in high demand for art projects, tea parties, and uh...lunch.

And so even though I can't even pretend to describe myself as a homemaker...I remind myself that we have a home. This house is often filled with family and friends. This house is filled with candlelit dinners and takeout on the couch. It's full of laugh- till-you-cry girl's nights and quiet heart-to-hearts. It's full of J and his buddy's playing video games and late night kung fu movies blaring through the surround sound. It's full of slumber parties and loud everyone-around-the-table-playing-food-abc's dinners.

And even if it is small and not all that clean, it is most definitely a home. The real homemakers here... are the children who play in every room, the friends & family that gather here and make themselves comfortable, and the yummy cinnamon rolls bubbling in the oven.

I am good with that....even if I never make dinner again.